I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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