i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
how drunk are you?
Several
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
