at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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