Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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