Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
