I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
