I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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