trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize