Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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