Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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