check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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