The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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