It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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