Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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