I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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