Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
