It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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