Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
