at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
