In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
