He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need moral support for this bender
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
