We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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