I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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