There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"