He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip