We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.