We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
