My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
