Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
