i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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