Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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