you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize