I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
