what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
