Got a toothbrush?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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