I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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