why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize