I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Please don't give away my fajitas
Are these your boobs on my camera?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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