U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's never too late to be topless.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Rumble strips road head = magical
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize