Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
