I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I didnāt eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesnāt scream Iām from New England, I donāt know what does
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
