honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
