Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
