My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize