So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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