spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
