Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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