were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize