The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
