There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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