Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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