We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
