i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
