I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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