Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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