Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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